My vintage lifestyle is failing me in that everything around me is breaking. I have this tendency to buy old shit, and then I am surprised when it breaks. Still I am more surprised when no one will fix it. I am still even more surprised when I finally find some nut who will fix it and then I gotta take it back two days later. I feel like I spend 86% of my time doing stuff like that. Just because I wanna hear music crappy. Still, I have to think about the ‘normal’ things that I see from day to day.

Recently, I joined a gym in hopes of getting in better shape. The stress of situations  like riding a vintage(i.e. crappy) bicycle down the road with one pedal at 4AM because a bike shop employee didn’t tell me that I needed a special wrench to  properly install pedals has sent me running in place like a gerbil at the local gym. (I asked by the way.) At the gym I see all the normal people in society. I can’t imagine what people do for a living anymore. I am aware of people walking around in suits making decisions, but I can’t really pinpoint what they do. I still think a person who can fix a turntable is a fucking marvel.

Naturally I figure normal people have more interesting things going on than I do. Spending time in a gym has cured me of that. I’m aware now of the phenomenon that men in locker rooms walk around naked and look at themselves in the mirror. I know that when you are on a gym situation, you are gonna see a butt every once in a while. Still, there is something to be said for wrapping your genitals as quickly as possible. That’s why we do it everywhere else. Simply put, I don’t think testicles are acceptable unless chemotherapy or war crimes are involved.

There lies my problem. Warbled music and an unstable bike at home, or a nice new stationary bike with multiple unnecessary testicle sightings.

I guess nobody much wins.

My Vintage Lifestyle posted September 6, 2007 in: Writing | Comments (1)
1 Comment »

I believe the proper word is “gentles”. Please wrap your gentles as quickly as possible.

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